umm... [entries|friends|calendar] mufu824 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[11 Feb 2008|08:47am] i usually know what to do. or have some direction. i have no idea. post comment

[09 Dec 2007|08:00pm] it's that time again. i'm getting nervous. my stomach is flipping. i want this week to be over. post comment

[15 Jun 2007|05:01pm] i need to go back to school. i am tired. post comment

[05 Jun 2007|10:26pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | bbq cd <3 ] i miss scranton. a lot. i'm not a fan of my job at the moment. i'm not a fan of being at home. i need to watch everything b/c who knows what will go missing next. i am really annoyed at the moment. i hate how they make like this. tomorrow i get to take the car to work. this is the only thing that i looked forward to this week. not even my paycheck. lovely. i probably should go to bed. but first i need a shower. peace out. post comment

[16 May 2007|11:46am] lets not talk about today or last night. or tomorrow night, tonight, or tomorrow for that matter. hey why not this week until friday? my brain is fried. my body might collapse. if you see it can you please pick it up? ho studiare italiano per il mio esame oggi. sono... non lo so. Andro' la biblioteca. ciao. post comment

[29 Apr 2007|01:38pm] things are working out really well. i don't know how... haha but i definitely don't mind. this has been a very good week. its funny how things work themselves out in the end. hopefully it doesn't end too soon. haha post comment

faith [12 Apr 2007|01:36pm] [ mood | contemplative ] i'm sitting in the storage closet at work. and i am thinking about my faith. i was reading an article, haven't finished it yet, about how religion is totally out there and it doesn't exist. about how some guy is taking it up with someone that the church is committing fraud: Jesus Christ never existed. this article was atheism all the way, well to the point i read... and then i read latter on a note on facebook from someone, announcing there stand on faith: totally for it and that it surely exists. the note also went into about how disappointed/angry he is with his church leaders, but still had his faith. we just had holy week and easter. i'm not going to lie, i didn't go to mass on Holy Thursday and Good Friday. I went to mass on Easter. I went with one of my sisters, thats it. I got there 15 mintues early thinkign that it would be just like Christmas- packed. It wasn't. The whole back of the Church was empty. This annoyed me. But i don't know why because half the people that filled up the Church latter on where the people who only went on Easter and Christmas. Why come then? But then I think well why not? I don't know. I felt that there was no ?? i don't know the word i'm looking for. something i felt when i was little and not really now. Little kids weren't really dressed in their Easter dresses, families were annoying and messing around with each other. No one sang, responded to the mass, or prayed. It makes me sad to see it like that. The mass itself made me sad and mad at the same time. I felt the music could have been chosen better, participation, even the homily. The priest mentioned everyone who had gone to the tomb except the women. I'm not a women's activist or anything, but why exclude them? weren't they the ones to discover the tomb empty? maybe he didn't do it on purpose i don't know. the only nice thing i remember from the mass, is when the priest called the little kids to the alter during the consecration. when the Our Father came to say, this little girl was saying it and you could hear her. Her voice was projecting into the priests microphone, and that made me smile. its sad to think that you receive the sacraments and you partake in the mass. you get a little older and it stops, and at some point i guess you realize that its ok. some people sooner or later than some i guess. its just like when you get a little to old to watch disney movies or something and then you realize hey i can watch it i like it. i don't know. its sad that you waste that time in between. i do this prayer thing on wed. nights. and for the most part it is pretty cool. i like hearing what others think about their faith and their experiences. lately though i come out feeling extremely fake and dumb. like last night people were talking about Jesus and the last supper etc. And i could just not get into it. I felt everything they said was fake, or that i was fake for being there and listening. and then when it came to the discussion, people were offering really good things to the group, and then i had my say, and i was completely different which is fine i guess, but i didn't feel like i was getting my point across. which is probably true b/c i don't explain myself well. but after i gave what i had, i just felt like what are you doing here? these people are talking about something you aren't or aren't feeling. does this mean i can't be there? that my faith isn't as strong as i thought it was? i don't konw... its been bothering me. maybe i'm lying to myself about it? i would hate to think that because i think i do believe. i couldn't imagine not believeing. i don't know. i'm just rambling. post comment

[22 Feb 2007|03:37pm] so lately .... i've looked at my name written down and it looks completely foreign to me. like is my name really mary frances? i think its weird, even though its my name. i like it, but sometimes i wonder if thats what may name should be. not that i would change it or anything. i've always have been having weird dreams. like of me smoking. i've never smoked in my lifed, but in my dreams i have this sensation of longing for a smoke. like breathing it in. and the warmth filling in. not that i know if that happens. its just what i think happens in my dreams. random people have imed me. people i haven't talked to in awhile. i've also been wanting motivation. i feel like i have none. and the only motivation i have is for me to walk up the hill so i can nap. i have no motivation sometimes to keep up with friends, family, my appearance, my work, school, or to care. so for lent, i'm praying for motivation. and i'm going to work on motivation. but today it seems like i'm not. 1 comment|post comment

[18 Jan 2007|06:03pm] i would just like to say how much i love everwood. i love bright. i love bright and hannah together. i love bright. i think too much about a show that doesn't tape anymore. oh well. post comment

[08 Dec 2006|05:43am] i wish i was going to italy this spring. post comment

[09 Oct 2006|04:40am] The good I now sought was not in things outside me, to be seen by the eye of flesh under the sun. For those that find their joy outside them easily fall into emptiness and are spilled out upon the things that are seen and the things of time, and in their starved minds lick shadows. -augustine i liked it and wanted to share. post comment

[30 Sep 2006|12:34am] my weekends are very dull. i mean i guess i could make friends who go out, like bowling or to the movies. something. instead i don't. my weeekends last year didn't feel like this. i feel like i'm cooped up in my room all weekend unless i go the gym. i mean tonight i went to open mic night but once 11 comes around i'm bored. i don't know. i miss last year. my hands are looking creepy again. i expect too much. people are probably having a more boring night than i am. sorry. post comment

[26 Sep 2006|11:32am] i hate interpretations. you see things one way, but unless it follows everything else you're wrong. and you get penalized for seeing things another way. how is that your fault when you have your own mind doing the thinking? you have different ideas, backgrounds, reasons, and experinces that lead you to that point. how can you say thats wrong when thats all you know? how can you critize something when you don't explain something THE RIGHT WAY. i hate this. and today stinks starting from six this morning. i hate this. 1 comment|post comment

[24 Sep 2006|12:36am] [ mood | uhhh ] [ music | jacks mannequin ] a;idfm;wiefakmia'wer j;afoiwer;af a;eifja;owie akjef;iwejfqpwuiqakszv yea. i don'tk now.... ;aoiefmoiwefmvixqpowd i wonder what letter usually is used least when you do that random hit the letter on the keyboard thing... who knows. i think the home keys are used more often then most. it probably is just because they are more convienent. my life is very dull at the moment with a few exceptions which are of little interest to anyone or myself. i'm looking forward to fall break. i think i miss my friends more this year than last. its quite ironic too because last summer we hung out a lot more, this year was a little less. but none the less. i still miss them. and i wish i were weith them right now. i think i'm jinxed. peace out. post comment

[23 Aug 2006|12:17am] [ mood | i don't know ] i leave soon, real soon. on sunday to be exact. i don't realize it. i have work from tomorrow and forward. i want to hang out and have fun. i keep thinking i still have the summer. but i don't. i don't know how i feel about leaving. but i don't know how i feel about staying. i don't know what i want i want. but i do know one thing. and that doesn't even influence anything right now, well not yet anyway. i'm ........ i don't know. 1 comment|post comment

[15 Aug 2006|11:25pm] [ mood | happy ] tonight was the format concert. i was singing and dancing. i was a little kid. i had an awesome time with jenna, kate and sarah. today is my first day off in six days. i like work, it doesn't really bother me. i am working almost 40 hours this week. i can't wait for my check. twelve more days for school. i am excited for school. i miss the few friends i have there. i am nervous about my classes, i'm realizing maybe i'm not business material. tomorrow i work from 12-8. i get a hour for dinner. i should get paid. i will be happy when i get my check. time to leave. i am pretty tired, but awake. i had a good day. i got to see the baby too today. the end. 2 comments|post comment

i'm gonna sleep with the next person i meet.... haha kate... hopefully you see this here... [11 Aug 2006|11:09am] [ mood | happy ] atttention: i got a new job. i'm working with my dad. i work the cash register and i'm learning how to fit shoes. i get a lot more hours. i quit the daycare without notice and they were mean. i was supposed to work five to eight, now i'm going in at one. i get a dinner hour, but i don't get paid for it. i go to school two weeks from sunday. i had fun last night with kate at target and in her car. i am sad jenna leaves a week from tomorrow. i have to go and get ready and try to clean a little for my mom. i'm peacing out. 1 comment|post comment

this is so stupid [08 Aug 2006|06:33pm] [ mood | hungry ] the phrase of this past week. disney was good, besides the fact one of my sisters didn't want to go on any rides, didn't enjoy any of the shows and blah blah. compaining was involved a lot of the week and decisions couldn't be made. time was wasted on ciggarete breaks. senior week was better, we seemed to do so much more. anyway i had steak five nights in a row, and they were delicious. i wrote about WHATS THE MATTER last time and i've been thinking about it when you read WHATS THE MATTER or think about it a lot, it doesn't make a lot of sense. well at least to me. then you respond most of the time with NOTHING IS THE MATTER. and that just sounds weirder to me. nothing is the matter. i don't know. i'm really hungry. p.s. i'm glad i have my own room. post comment

[30 Jul 2006|12:03pm] [ mood | miserable ] i leave for disney tomorrow. and i am extremely annoyed. my mom keeps asking me whats the matter. NOTHING IS THE MATTER. btw i keep reading that line and it sounds really wrong. anyway, then i was like you keep asking me whats the matter. its like the fifth time you asked in a matter of ten minutes... (not really but you get the idea) then my dad goes, sarcastically i'm sure, whats the matter? and then i yelled again nothing is the matter. (weird) i am in a horrible mood, and i want to get out of it. thinking about spending a week without my own space is starting to creep up on me. ahhhhhhhhhh its disney though. then my dad, last night, freaked out on me because i woulnd't give him the book of matches. i'm freaking almost 19 and he was acting like i was 12 and had matches. i was extremely annoyed. i hate being a freaking personal driver. even though i've only done it 'three' times. get out of here. a;ioewjra;skmviewojra mwoeirmpcowk;c i can't wait for school, and yet at the same time i don't. i don't want to take my classes. i'm not looking forward to taking any of them, except my theology class. who in the right mind wants to take calculus? econ? a;iserfm;afiejr i don't. then why am i? because i have no idea what i would like to do. my mind is blank when it comes to think of something i want to be. completely blank. i jump around too too much. i wish i had something i was good at and could use it towards whatever i have to do. iaj;isdfmaiew faweij;ri sorry for this pathetic whatever you want to call it. i'll see ya in a week... ciao. peace out. you know, they don't have miserable as a mood? hmm. i'm making it my own. 1 comment|post comment

[29 Jul 2006|10:59am] [ mood | annoyed ] ajsdifamweiceia;sdkljfioem blah blabh blah lbah albhablahblahbhalhbalbhalbhalbh ahh post comment

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